


The Ultimate Cargument

by stellarmeadow



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Banter, Flirting, Humor, M/M, Shopping, Unresolved Sexual Tension, carguments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 07:59:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarmeadow/pseuds/stellarmeadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever wonder why Danny was driving a Mustang in 1.01 but a Camaro in 1.02?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ultimate Cargument

**Author's Note:**

> I have wanted to write this story for about 2 years now, but have never quite had the right pieces in my head until today. So here it is, and I won't lie, it makes me ridiculously happy. I love the Camaro. I love carguments. I love McDanno. The combination makes me giddy! :) (Also, it's after 2 am and I've just come through a migraine, so that also makes me giddy...) Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Set between 1.01 and 1.02.
> 
> The gorgeous banner, which has made me very happy, was created by [azziria](http://archiveofourown.org/users/azziria).

Danny added a little extra sugar to his coffee, then took a sip. Perfect. Just like his morning, tasty, sweet, and free of an insane Navy SEAL.

Not that the guy didn't have good excuses for being a little insane, what with his father's death, extreme sleep deprivation, and having had to hunt down and kill the man who killed his father. But still, his brand of crazy was making Danny's arm burn where it was shot, his knee ache in a way it hadn't since high school, and was significantly shortening his life expectancy.

He took the ten steps from his kitchenette to his sofa bed, still unmade and open, and sat back against his pillow, contemplating how to spend his morning. He could get dressed and watch college football. Or he could stay in his underwear and watch college football. Decisions, decisions.

A knock at the door, interrupting his coffee enjoyment, annoyed him even more than usual because he realized, slightly horrified at the thought, that he actually recognized that knock. He got up, put his coffee down carefully, and stalked over to the door to yank it open.

"I was told to take 24 hours to let my arm heal," Danny said, by way of a greeting.

"I'm not here to work," Steve said. "I'm here to take you shopping."

Danny stared at Steve, but he didn't evaporate or turn into an ogre or something. He poked Steve in the arm, but no, he was solid. Definitely not a dream. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm here to take you shopping," Steve said. "You need a car."

"I need a--" Danny stopped, rubbing his eyes and his temples--another thing about McGarrett, he gave Danny a headache faster than anyone other than Rachel had ever managed. "I have a car," Danny said slowly. Maybe the guy had just been hit on the head a few times too many and needed things explained properly. "It's right there."

He pointed at the parking lot, where his car was nowhere to be seen. "Where is my car?" Danny asked, turning back to Steve. "What did you do to my car?"

"Why do you assume I did something to your car?"

"Because you hijacked my life, McGarrett, so why not my car, too? It's a perfectly logical assumption."

A smirk was definitely forming on Steve's mouth, and if it turned into a mocking grin, Danny was absolutely punching him again. "I did not hijack your car," Steve said. "HPD took it."

"HPD took my car?"

"Technically, HPD took _their_ car. You've been transferred to the task force, remember? Therefore, the car is no longer yours."

Danny stared at him for a long moment. "I don't have a car?" At Steve's nod, Danny turned around and went back into the apartment. "I'm going to need more coffee for this."

He picked up his cup and took a long drink. "How am I supposed to investigate without a car?" he asked.

"You're not," Steve said. "I'm here to take you shopping, remember? For a car."

Danny nearly dropped his cup. "You're going to buy me a car?" Because really, the hotel gift card was nice and all, but a car....

"No, Danny, I'm not going to buy you a car. The state of Hawaii is going to buy the task force a car, which for all intents and purposes is yours. So put your clothes on and let's go find one."

"How?" Danny asked, taking a drink of his coffee. "You don't have a car."

"No, I have a truck," Steve jerked his thumb over his shoulder towards the parking lot, "because I got out of bed at a decent hour this morning and went truck shopping. And it's sitting out there waiting to take you to get a car. So are you going to get dressed, or am I going to drag you to the dealership in your boxers and barefoot?"

Danny sighed and finished the rest of his coffee in a long drink. "Never try to get a Jersey cop out of his house before he's had a cup of coffee."

"That explains so much about the crime rate there," Steve said. "Anyway, you're not a Jersey cop anymore, you're a detective for the state of Hawaii. So again, put your clothes on and let's _go_."

"All right," Danny said, putting his cup in the sink and pulling on pants and a shirt. Because sure, McGarrett was invading his day off--the one he earned by getting shot--but he was doing it to take Danny to buy a car, so he could afford to be a little magnanimous.

He followed Steve out to the truck, shaking his head at the size of it. "Overcompensating for something?" Danny asked, smirking.

Steve stopped beside Danny at the passenger side door. "No need," Steve said, "but if you need proof, I can certainly produce some evidence."

His eyebrow was cocked, like he was just waiting to see Danny get embarrassed and back down. He didn't know Danny. "I'm sure I've got a ruler somewhere anytime you wanna whip it out."

Steve threw his head back and laughed. "Get in the truck," was all he answered as he walked around to the driver's side.

Danny took a moment to lock the sudden flood of images of naked Steve away in his head. Where he hoped they never came back out, because he needed this job and didn't think Mr. Big Navy SEAL would be so hot on being his partner if he knew Danny was picturing him naked.

The truck engine roared to life, and Danny jumped up into the cab. He caught Steve looking at him a few times before he finally said, "Look, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable earlier."

"Hm?" Danny managed a confused look. "Uncomfortable?"

"Before you got into the truck...with the, uh, comment."

And look at that, something actually made SEAL boy himself uncomfortable. Good to know there was a human in there somewhere. "Hey, I am comfortably secure in my manhood," Danny said, lightening the tone. "If you can't handle that, that's your problem."

Steve's shoulders slid back into their normal position which, while still a long way from relaxed on most human beings, at least it didn't look like Steve was bracing for an attack. "Good to know," Steve said.

So, SEAL boy did have some ability to read mere mortals and even a sense of remorse. Nice to know the hotel gift wasn't a one-off. Maybe this could work, as long as Danny kept the random images of a naked McGarrett out of his head.

He was still working on that as they arrived at a Chevy dealership. "Not another Mustang?" Danny asked, frowning. He'd gotten used to that car, and the way it maneuvered on the sometimes sketchy roads of Oahu.

"Honolulu has a deal with Ford," he said. "The state gets a discount from Chevy. So you get to choose anything you want. As long as it's a Chevy."

"Damn, there goes my hopes for a Ferrari."

Steve laughed before he got out of the truck. Danny followed him, catching up with him as he reached the door of the dealership. "Commander McGarrett," said a man in a bright orange shirt with yellow and purple flowers on it. "Good to see you again."

"Thanks, Kai, you, too." Steve put his hand on Danny's shoulder. "This is Detective Danny Williams," he said, "part of the new task force. We need to get him a car."

"Have a look around," Kai said, leading them back out to the lot and straight to the new cars. "What are you interested in?"

Steve looked at Danny. "What do you think?"

"You're not just going to tell me what to get?" Danny teased. "No standard military issue or something?"

"All up to you," Steve said, folding his arms over his chest and smiling down at Danny.

Danny pointed back towards the showroom, where he'd seen a beautiful car before they'd come outside. "How about that Vette in there?"

"The ZR1?" Kai asked. "Excellent choice."

"Bad choice," Steve said. "No back seats. We need back seats--how else are you supposed to book 'em, Danno?"

Danny glared at Steve. "Let me test drive it," he said. "I'll run you over."

"Besides," Steve continued as if Danny hadn't spoken. "It's too expensive."

"You said anything."

Steve turned to Kai. "What's the sticker price on the ZR1?"

"That model? About a hundred and thirty grand."

He turned back to Danny. "If you'd like to go explain to the governor why you needed that one hundred and thirty thousand dollar car when it doesn't even have back seats, feel free."

"What about a regular Corvette, then?" Danny said.

"Still no back seats."

Danny rolled his eyes. "We can put the bad guys in the trunk."

"I'm pretty sure the governor might have an issue with that, Danny."

"What? She said full immunity and means, which you seem to think that means you can just jump police cruisers onto boats, but I can't have a Corvette?"

Steve gave him a long, steady look. "How about this?" Steve said, walking over to a silver Camaro.

"Hm...maybe." He liked the look of it, but if McGarrett wanted it, there must be something dangerous and insane about it. "What about this?" Danny asked, walking past the Camaro to a Cobalt, just waiting to see what Steve would say.

"You can't be serious," Steve said. "You want the criminal element to laugh at you?"

"I'll have you know," Kai said, "that's an excellent car."

"Of course," Steve said, "it's just not...appropriate for a high speed chase, is it?"

Danny leaned against the Cobalt, crossing one leg in front of the other and folding his arms over his chest. "So you're saying that size is the only thing that matters, not what's under the hood?"

And now he knew what a Navy SEAL looked like when he was trapped. "I didn't say that," Steve replied slowly, hands out, palms up, every single body language trick meant to placate someone. Because yes, Danny had also been through hostage negotiation. He recognized it when he saw it. "I just meant that it didn't come with a big enough engine to work for us in a high speed chase."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Oh, is _that_ what you meant?"

"Okay, how about this one, then?" Steve said, apparently realizing the game Danny was playing was just that--a game. He pointed at the car beside the Cobalt. "The Cruze is very compact," Steve said, scanning Danny from toes to his head and back again, "but the engine is much more...powerful. Definitely a greater thrust capacity."

Danny suddenly realized he wasn't the only one who'd missed out on a game in the background. "Not bad," Danny said, making a point of walking slowly all the way around the car before stopping next to Steve, standing a little closer than was probably necessary. "Do the back seats meet with your approval? Or do we need to test them?"

He hadn't seen that particular spark in Steve's eyes before, but he was hoping to see it again. Because this was fun. "We could always take it for a test drive," Steve said, his voice a little lower.

"Mmm, maybe," Danny said. "But if we're going to test drive one, we should probably start with the Camaro."

"I thought you didn't like the Camaro."

"I never said I didn't like the Camaro," Danny said. "It's sleek, gorgeous, and powerful." He gave Steve his own once over. "But the jury's still out on it, and I like to keep my options open until I'm thoroughly convinced."

Steve cleared his throat, giving Danny one last, long look before turning his head to look at Kai. "Mind if we take a Camaro out?"

Apparently being on the governor's task force meant you didn't even have to take the dealer with you for a test drive. Danny slid behind the driver's seat after batting Steve's hands away when he reached for the keys from Kai. "It's my car--"

"The state's car."

"Whatever. It's _mostly_ my car and _I_ will do the test driving, Steven."

Steve's eyes lit up again. "Be my guest," he'd said, ushering Danny to the car.

They pulled out of the dealership and onto the road. "Hit the H1," Steve ordered.

"Who's driving this car?"

"Miss Daisy, judging by the way you're dragging along under the speed limit."

"Just because you drive like a maniac let loose on the poor people of Hawaii--"

"Would you just hit the freeway? There's no other way to see what the engine can do."

Danny grumbled, because he'd already discovered that it was annoying when Steve was right. "Fine." He made his way through the streets with a bit more testing of the brakes than he would have liked, until he got to an entrance ramp and hit the gas to enter the freeway.

The car got up to speed in a hurry, but apparently that wasn't enough for SEAL boy. "Would you stop driving like a grandmother and start driving like a cop?"

"I can't, because in case you haven't noticed, this is not a cop car."

"Oh for--just pull over and let me drive."

"Oh, right, I'm going to pull over on the side of the freeway so you can test drive my possible car, which, by the way, still belongs to the dealership, and while I would find it _incredibly_ amusing to see you have to explain to the governor why the state has to pay for this car when we won't even be able to drive it because it's already _totaled_ , I don't really want to be in a car accident today after being _shot_ just yesterday. I like to wait at least a week between my life-threatening accidents. Maybe even two. Call me crazy, but _sometimes_ , just for fun, I like to wait a whole month!"

Steve sniffed in response, looking out the window, and Danny went back over his words, wondering what he'd said. "How's the arm?" Steve asked after a moment, and Danny knew which of his comments had hit a nerve.

"The arm is fine," he said. "I'm driving and everything, see?"

"Good, then nothing was life threatening, so there's nothing wrong with picking up a little speed?"

"You were dropped on your head a lot as a baby, weren't you? It's okay to admit to the brain damage, you know. No shame in it."

"Just see how fast it can go."

Danny shook his head. "This speedometer," he said, tapping at the dash, "already tells you that. Plus, I'm betting we can find all kinds of tests the nice people at Chevy did before they put it out on the market."

"Never trust tests," Steve said. "You should always test your equipment yourself."

"This is not equipment," Danny said. "It's a car."

"What's the number one thing you use in police work?"

Danny thought about his day-to-day investigations, what he spent most of his time doing, and sighed. "Okay, fine," he admitted, "it is a piece of equipment in that particular definition of the word."

"I accept your apology."

"Who was apologizing?" Danny said, clenching the steering wheel to avoid smacking McGarrett. "I was simply admitting that you had a point. A very weak, minor, and mostly _pointless_ point, but a point nonetheless."

"Oh, well, thank you for the concession." Steve grinned at him. "At least now I know how to get you to drive at a reasonable speed."

Danny looked down at the speedometer, which read 80. "Fuck!" He took his foot off the gas completely, until the speed dropped back to a more respectable 65. "If you cause me to get a speeding ticket, I'll shoot you in the foot."

"You're not going to get a speeding ticket, Danny. You're a cop. HPD knows you, and you're on the task force, and we are officially testing equipment. Full immunity and means."

"Why do I get the feeling she's going to regret ever uttering those words to you?" Danny asked. "Full immunity and means does not mean you can go out and do anything and everything you want."

"Actually, I think if you look in the dictionary you'll see that's exactly what that phrase means. 'Protection or exemption from something, especially an obligation or penalty' is what the dictionary says about 'immunity.' 'Full' just sort of underlines immunity from everything and anything."

"You seriously went and looked that up?"

Steve shrugged. "Figured it would come in handy."

"There is seriously something wrong with you," Danny said. "I mean, was there _always_ something wrong with you? Were you _born_ this way? Or is it something that SEAL training does to you? Should I be worried about the sanity of any SEAL I meet? Because this is something I have a feeling I'm going to need to know if we're going to be partners."

"No 'if' about it, Danno," Steve said, giving him a sunny smile. "You're stuck with me."

"Not if I kill you."

Steve's smile grew. "You won't," he said confidently.

Danny ignored him, choosing instead to get off the freeway and turn around to head back to the dealership. "Okay," he said, after he was south bound once more, "the car's not bad."

"Not bad?"

"It's kind of nice, actually. I think I could get used to driving it, with a couple of modifications." He glanced at Steve. "Like maybe an ejector seat in the passenger side."

"You'd only be endangering yourself when I'm driving."

"You are _not_ going to be driving my car!" Danny gave him a quick glare before focusing on the road again. "You'll have us in the ocean or off a cliff or something within a week."

Steve's silence went on long enough that Danny hazarded another look, even though traffic was getting heavier as he got closer to downtown. Steve was sitting back in his seat, smiling at something as he looked straight ahead. He noticed Danny's attention shift almost immediately, though. "What?"

"I don't like that look," Danny said.

"What look?"

"The one that makes me want to call my insurance company and check that my life insurance policy is all paid up."

"You worry too much, Danno."

Danny sighed. "Would it kill you to call me Danny?"

"No more than it kills you for me to call you Danno."

"Whatever."

He drove less than a mile in silence before Steve turned on the radio. "We should make sure it works," Steve said, before Danny could protest. "If we're thinking of buying it."

The sound coming out of the speakers, however, was not any song Danny could identify. He finally recognized it as an easy-listening/reggae version of a country song he vaguely remembered from the 70s. "Could we maybe test the radio on something that doesn't suck?"

"You really need to get into the culture," Steve said. "You want to track down criminals in Hawaii, you need to understand them."

Danny reached for the stereo, but Steve smacked his hand. "I like this song," Steve said.

"You'll find it hard to listen without ears if you ever smack me again."

"I bet I could get you to change your mind about that."

And there was that game again. Danny was going to get whiplash, jumping back and forth between their power play and the subtext beneath it that was rapidly becoming text. "Not if I got to you first," Danny shot back.

Something flared in Steve's eyes, different than the amused spark from before. He swallowed, studying Danny for a moment. "Could be interesting to see who breaks first," he said, finally, his voice pitched low, making Danny shift in his seat. "But there's something important I need to tell you."

Danny shifted again, forcing himself not to move away as Steve leaned in closer. "What?" Danny said, cursing the tell-tale hoarseness in his own voice.

Steve leaned close enough that his breath was hot on Danny's ear. "You just missed our exit," Steve whispered.

Danny's dick twitched, even as he had to grip the wheel to keep from reaching out and smacking Steve in the chest. "You are such an ass."

"Mmm." Steve was still close enough that his voice felt like it was vibrating against Danny's eardrum. "Take the next exit and you can hit Ala Moana to get back to the dealership," he said, his tone making the words sound as if they should be an entirely different kind of direction altogether, one belonging in the bedroom.

He moved out of Danny's personal space, and Danny started breathing normally again. Mostly. "I have lived here for six months," Danny said. "I _do_ know enough to know that, thanks."

"Just making sure, since you missed the exit."

Danny glared at him, one look at Steve's smug face assuring him Steve knew exactly what had really caused Danny to miss the exit. He started to give in to one wholehearted 'fuck you,' but he wasn't sure he was ready for Steve's response to that, so he just kept his mouth shut and took the exit.

The short drive to the dealership was silent, save for the more traditional sounding Hawaiian song that came on the radio next. Kai was waiting for them as they pulled up to the door. "How did you like it?" he asked as they got out of the car.

Steve was looking at Danny expectantly, already smirking. He would be unbearable if Danny gave in and went for the car that Steve had started out trying to talk him into. But it was a fantastic car. And he couldn't manage to bring himself to hand over the keys.

The hell with it. Steve could gloat all he wanted. "We'll take it," Danny said, pocketing the keys.

And the worst part was that Steve's smile was worth it. Made Danny happy about his choice. This could be a problem, he realized. But he couldn't find it in himself to get too worried about it.

"Shut up," he said, though, because he had to. One didn't show fear or weakness to bees, bears, and SEALs.

"I'm just saying," Steve said, "I told you from the start it was the perfect car. You should listen to me more often."

He followed Kai into the office to sign papers. As Danny sighed and turned to follow, he felt a hand on his arm, and looked to his left to see an old lady standing there. "It's okay," she said, patting him on the arm. "My husband was the same way."

Danny closed his eyes and wondered if it was too late to kidnap Grace and find a nice little island with no extradition treaty. When he realized Steve would probably find him there anyway, he just sighed. "Thanks," he said to the woman, not bothering to correct her as he headed for the office.

\---

END

**Author's Note:**

> Want to learn more about me and my writing? Visit my page at <http://www.jamiemeadowswrites.com/>


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